Oh yes, GMA this morning. Charice Pempengco. Now, was she worth being woken up in this heinous manner? I’m not sure. There’s no question she’s got a lovely voice but she is clearly preoccupied with sounding like everyone else. I’m linking to a vid in her site of her singing Smile, in what may be her bathroom. I’m choosing this one instead of others because while there is nothing particularly compelling about her version it’s still good and at least it’s not mixed up with the trappings of lofty orchestrations that always seem to accompany child singers.
I normally have nothing but disdain for the seemingly plethora of kids with the so-called amazing voices. I’d say a good 99% of the time the only reason people take notice of these wannabes is solely for their age; but I’m sorry, that’s just not a good enough reason for these kids to be getting the notoriety or record deals they are getting. This is just another example of society’s dumbing down their artistic standards. I mean really, the bottom line is if you didn’t know who was singing and these tykes were warbling on the radio, how soon would you change the station?
Test it. Watch this vid from recent, British kid phenom, Connie Talbot. Actually, no, just listen so you don't see that cute face. Yeah, I mean she can vaguely carry a tune but really, let's see how long it takes before you want to pull out your hair and stuff it into your ears while simultaneously looking for whoever is scratching their nails down a chalkboard.
Ok, I know you’re sitting there saying, “yo Hanja, you’re not the first to be making this sad state of cultural affairs argument; furthermore, this argument has been going on for an eternity.” True, however I think with the advent of youtube (which make no mistake; I am utterly addicted) and that despicable American Idol, there appears to be an infestation of unimaginative and generally inept singers being given their 15 minutes like never before. I mean, at least in the 70s during the initial Annie craze when every little girl and her dog (literally in this case) were belting out “the sun will come out tomorrow” most of the parents had sense enough to realize that one parent's young Ethel Merman is another person's screaming banshee, and would therefore wisely keep the concert confined to their own living room. Very few would venture outside; when they did, a camera crew wasn’t waiting. Was it because those crews had more legitimate talent to cover?
And think about some of the few young stars that did manage to make it big based on their “big” voices. Does anyone remember Charlotte Church – “Voice of an Angel”? Unless you live in England where she has her own talk show, of course you don’t because as soon as she became old enough, her “big” voice in a small child was no longer a novelty – which is exactly what she always was. No more.
Nowadays everyone has to be the next Miley Cyrus. (No, I’m not going to launch into a tirade about the mullet-offspring. I don’t really know much about her other than that doofusy, I-am-beside-myself-at-the-scandal magazine cover.) But isn’t she just the version of the next Lindsey? And wasn’t Lindsey the version of the next Britney? What are these gals known for really – their talent or their extracurricular activities? Is the talent that these gals allegedly possess really going to stand the test of time? And what is it with the “ey”s in their names? If you’re an Agnes you don’t qualify for fame and fortune?
The point is, there are very few legitimate child stars. They are an anomaly and this anomaly can’t be manufactured. That’s what makes the real young talents special. Kids that are unbelievable to behold because their talent is organic. They are not busy trying to imitate anyone else. That’s probably the biggest problem I have with all today’s crop o’ child stars. They have zero originality. That David kid from Idol – don’t tell me he doesn’t sound like every other singer who embarrassingly attempted to sound like Michael Bolton. They don’t even steal from good sources! Name any of the current young singers. Do you honestly see a Little Stevie Wonder? A Judy Garland??
This goes out to the next person who sends their kid to a TV audition instead of school where they belong:
Stop wasting my time!
