The IMDb is also kind enough to keep me abreast of the most vital entertainment news of the day which I have to assume is accurate info seeing as how they get their breaking entertainment content from WENN (World Entertainment News Network) - a fairly respectable news wire service that also services the likes of Sony, Blockbuster and Bloomberg. Anyway, today (after I found out Miles Chapin was the actor who played Joel in French Postcards) I noticed a funny-looking headline in the trusty IMDb news section:
I couldn't help but be amused by the use of alliteration there. As I have mentioned many times before, I am a fan of anything alliterative. (Ho ho see what I did there?!) Usually, however, when I opt to employ this tactic, it is in context with something more or less fluffy in content. And while certainly infinitely greater writers than me have used this device in countless great literary works, I don't think I would be entirely wrong in suggesting that nowadays alliteration utilization is limited to children's books, songs and ad campaigns. Generally if it's used in any other literary medium, it's almost always to preface a silly or nonsensical story. (Dang, once I get started it's hard to stop.) In any case, while I admit the accompanying Elisha Cuthbert story is absurd, it hardly warrants a headline that essentially says the author thinks this story is idiotic. I mean, yeah, I think it IS idiotic but I'm also thinking the people actually involved in the story don't think so; and perhaps they wouldn't appreciate a well-known and respected news agency mocking their situation by minimizing it with a snappy headline.
It seems that Ms. Cuthbert (I have no clue who this person is) previously had a relationship with some hockey player (also someone I've never heard of). Although Cuthbert is no longer with that particular hockey player, she obviously digs the sport because she is currently in a relationship with another hockey player. With me so far? Apparently Hockey Player 1 said of Hockey Player 2 that Hockey Player 2 was dating his (Hockey Player 1) "sloppy seconds."
As a result of this unseemly verbal b*tchslap, Hockey Player 1 has now been suspended. Apparently his comments offended Mr. Hockey Commissioner's delicate sensibilities; so Mr. Hockey Commissioner decided to take advantage of his commissioningness by taking decisive action. The Commish, evidently an Emily Post fan, stated, "Playing in the National Hockey League is a privilege, requiring a high standard of personal behaviour. Mr. Avery forfeits that privilege for six games."
I don't get it. Isn't hockey like THE sport for crass behavior - verbal and otherwise? I mean, apart from the "Do You Believe in Miracles" team I briefly mentioned in my last bloggy thing, I thought the main idea of hockey was to bash guys into walls and bad mouth each other's sisters. I know what I'm talking about. I've seen Slap Shot more than once. (Small moment of silence for the great Paul Newman.) And I'm willing to bet Elisha, seeing as how she seems to be a hockey groupie of sorts, has seen Slap Shot a few times as well. So yeah, she doesn't deserve to be referred to in that manner, but she can hardly be that surprised. In fact, if you think about it, she dated Hockey Player 1 for a while. She had to know he was a jerk.
As far as Hockey Player 2 is concerned, he's also got to be used to this sort of thing since hockey is the career path he chose, and obnoxious behavior is the cornerstone of the hockey industry. Again, I know this because Slap Shot told me so and I trust Michael Ontkean. (He was the naked one.)
Having said all that, it still doesn't make Hockey Player 1 a nice guy and obviously, considering all the hoopla his comments caused, a lot of people were hurt by this situation. And so, my point here is although this story is goofy in a lot of ways, all the players involved deserve more than:
And that's not even addressing the issue that at first glance, one could easily assume it was Cuthbert herself who made some sort of crazy comment. One could even think Cuthbert herself is crazy. And maybe in her craziness she made a comment that could have been construed as crazy which somehow culminated in Avery's suspension. Maybe Cuthbert was dreadfully disparaging and degrading. Maybe not, but this is how rumors get started, you know. Alliteration has to be used more responsibly, WENN people! In some extreme cases it can lead to libel on some little-seen blog.
